A Glimpse of SHORT SHORTS

Mack Whitaker, having just moved into his home that week, decided to replace the old forty-eight-foot back fence, bordering his neighbor's yard, with a new fence. He placed a forty-eight-foot guide rope across the yard, precisely marking each six feet of rope with tape, resulting in seven post positions plus two end posts. Then, Mack informed the installation crew to build the fence based on these markings. Unknown to Mack, however, were his neighbor's sons, who viewed this as an opportunity to prank their new neighbor. So that evening, after dark, the boys moved each marker from 6’ to 5’11”.

When the company arrived the next day, they installed the nine posts, as instructed, coming up eight inches short at the end of the barrier. They completed the fencing leaving an unintended gap.

The supervisor said, “Guess he wants to be able to slide through.”

When Mack got home after work, he saw the two teens out back, rolling on the ground laughing. Mack went out to introduce himself and inspect the work, accompanied by his two 80-pound pit bulldogs. The boys’ laughter soon turned to screams of terror as they attempted to flee.

King Bee

The bees gathered in the front of the warehouse, hovering under the oversized neon sign.

The large male bee moved up front and said, “Guys. How much longer are we going to put up with this ‘Queen Bee’ shit? Why are females always in charge? I’m a King Bee and I say that it’s time to change the rules. ‘King Bee’ sounds as powerful as ‘Queen Bee’. You drones just sit around all day waiting to impregnate her while the worker bees do the work. This gives the Queen the impression that we males are worthless. That, however, ain’t the case. How dumb are these bitches anyway to work 24/7? Collecting nectar for someone else’s kids. And she just sits around dropping baby after baby. Heavens! That’s no life and definitely not a leader’s life. I say we take over the hive. We can control her and the workers since we’re superior to them. Hell, one usage of their stinger and they die! What’s that about anyway? First thing tomorrow morning we move on the hive. Who’s with me, guys? Are you ready?!”

“Yeah!” yelled the drones. “Yes, yes, yes!”

Across the yard from the warehouse, a worker bee entered a hive and approached the Queen.

The female bee said, “Lady Bee, why are the drones and one of the king bees gathering in that building? What's going on with them?” The Queen responded, “Oh, those guys? It’s an annual affair. Once a year the dumbasses consider a revolt, and each year they fail. Did you notice where this group is meeting? Since they can't read, they don't even know where they are.”

“Yeah.” replied another worker. “We learned to read in our first month. Along with how to preserve our stinger. They’re so stupid they really believe the myth that we die after one use of our stinger. Boy, talk about dummies.”. “Wow!” said the first worker. “They’ve got those humans at the warehouse all riled up. Dummies still haven’t realized they’re meeting in an Acme Bee and Hornet Exterminator Company warehouse, have they!”